You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
