what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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