I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
