I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
