Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
