the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
