I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
