You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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