I wanna passion pit in your ass
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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