it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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