But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
