i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
