i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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