i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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