Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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