Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
