You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
