I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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