Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
