and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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