Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
