I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
