If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
