I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We're like a lot better than the average bears
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
