Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
