I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
