What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
