I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
