its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
