We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
