I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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