Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
