Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize