the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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