Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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