Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
