Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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