i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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