so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
