woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
