as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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