I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
