I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
