Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
