How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
True college students do jello shots in the library
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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