Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I understand Curling. That high.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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