a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
