Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
