oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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