Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
