Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
pray to the hookup gods
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
