btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my being single is dangerous.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
