And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
