wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
