saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
