her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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