I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
