K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
