it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
