And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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